Ağa Bey

I like how pleasant people are to each other here. When I say this, I mean the formalities that they assume when conversing or addressing one another.

Of course, as a teacher, my students will call me "teacher" quite often and not by my name. At first, this was irritating because I thought that the students didn't remember my name, so they just called me "teacher" instead. Later, however, I was informed by another teacher that this was actually a sign of respect; if a student calls you by your name, it means they see you as an equal, which is actually a little rude since respect for the teacher is common in this culture. Perhaps it is a bit haughty of me, but I get a little irritated now when a student calls me by my name, because I know this and I am used to being called "teacher".

Sometimes, although less common, a student who is particularly polite or respectful will call you "hoca" (hodja). This is an old word that was commonly used as a respectful term for a religious teacher, but nowadays people use it as a term of respect for any type of teacher. Personally, I like being called "hoca"; it makes me feel more important or older than I really am.

There is an entirely different set of words for people older or who should be respected. For example, for older women you know that you work with or live near, you have to call them abla (abla espanol?), which means "older sister". If there is an older man who helps you or who you respect, you can call him amca ( am-jah, paternal uncle) or dayır (maternal uncle). If you don't know someone well and want to be particularly formal you can call them Efendim, Sir or Madam, but this word has different meanings depending on the context:

a) If you want to call someone Sir or Madam, you say Efendim.
b) If you answer the phone, you must say, "Efendim?"
c) If someone calls your name, you can say, "Efendim?", like "Yes?"
d) And, of course, if you didn't hear what someone said, you can say "Efendim?" - Pardon?

The most common, and friendly, forms of address between men (different world for women, I don't know) however are ağa bey and kardeş. Ağa bey (aaah bay) means "older brother", and is a common form of address between people you are both friendly and unfriendly with and is used very often: "What's that ağa bey?"; "Sorry, ağa bey."; "Where are you, ağa bey?" and so forth. It's almost mandatory at the end of the sentence sometimes. Usually people who are older than you, the same age as you, or younger than you but you respect are ağa bey. Kardeş (younger brother) serves the same function, but is used only for people who are younger than you.

An then, of course, the chummier varieties of address abound: dostum (buddy), arkadaşım (my friend), kanka (pal), and lan (dude) are all common between friends.

Of course since these terms of respect and friendship abound, so do the greetings and personal inquiries. One of the things I like about Turkish people is that, like Americans, they ask you how you are doing. This is in contrast to Europeans, who don't care how you are and see the question as a superficiality. But of course when you meet someone, in Turkish, there is a slue of greetings all at once: "Merhaba! Nasılsın? İyiyim? Ne haber? Ne yapıyorsun?" (Hello! How are you? Good? What's news? What are you doing?) and so on.

Naturally this can be quite much after a while, but it is endearing nonetheless. The funniest thing about this, in my opinion, is that "Thank you" is an acceptable response to all these greetings. So naturally, one of the hardest parts about teaching Turkish students is teaching them not to say simply "thank you" when someone asks, "How are you?"