Footnotes

It's not really much different than anyplace else here, save a few cultural niceties, consumer brands, local cuisine, and so on. People are people wherever you go; only the minor things change. I'm not saying this place isn't unique - I assure you, it is - but I'm talking about the quotidian; once you get used to things, the similarities of daily life around the world outnumber the differences. Nonetheless, Turkey, like everywhere else, has its own unexpected peculiarities and other oddities that make you scratch your head in bewilderment.

Television is a good gauge of local culture and language any place you go, and you would be surprised how much of the language you can learn if you watch a few hours of TV a day with a dictionary in hand. I think I'm lucky to have a television in my place (rabbit-eared, of course) that receives a fair amount of channels. All are in Turkish, but luckily they have CNBC here, and at night they play American television shows subtitled in Turkish, which is good (a regular dose of American culture is nothing to complain about), and every Sunday night at 10 they have been playing all the Star Wars movies with subtitles (someone really is looking out for me).
The Turkish television shows are certainly very interesting. It goes without saying the quality is poor, although the acting can be quite good, which is a saving grace. Soap operas are popular.
But it is clear from the television shows that Turks have a lust for violence. Almost all of the TV shows (even the soap operas) involve a cheaply shot gun battle of some kind; if someone doesn't die, then at least several people get shot. Domestic violence is sparse, but nonetheless graphically represented at times in certain shows. But don't assume it is a misogynistic soceity; in one show, a woman, fighting with a rebel group of men in the east of the country, relishes ambushing army soldiers and torturing captives.
Shows about police and the military are especially popular, naturally because of this thirst for exciting violence. Because of the political situation in the east of the country, where Kurdish nationalists are attempting to establish their own state, shows about the military battling Kurdish terrorists and rebels are wildly popular. Tek Türkiye (One Turkey) is one show of this genre, and I can't tell if it is so popular because Turks enjoy the gun battles and betrayals, or if they like seeing Kurds crushed (they really don't like them).
Another peculiar thing about television shows here, in a country where 70% of the male population smokes, is the government's lame attempt to censor cigarette smoking on TV. Smoking is now banned in public buildings here, and you won't see it in the domestic television shows, but when they play an old movie or foreign show or film, any cigar, cigarette, or other tobacco product is blurred or covered up by a cartoon flower. Kind of reminds me of when you see old 60's and 70's B movies on TV back home and they blur or cover nude genitalia with a similar brigtly colored object. You can only shake your head in bewilderment.

There's something to be said about the bathrooms here. The traditional Turkish or Asian toilet is a shallow porcelain bowl in the floor with a hole and is corrugated on each side for traction when you squat to do your business, and there is usually a spigot wıth a bucket you use to wash it down with. This is the standard in public toilets, and in some public buildings (there are two in the men's bathroom where I work). I can't vouch for the practicality or comfort (or lack of) of this type of toilet because I have been afraid to use one, as I imagine it to be a quite messy affair. Luckily, in modern times Turkey has discovered a western style toilet, and although it is more comfortable and most likely more sanitary, it is horrifyingly similar to a German toilet. Those who know what that is like are probably shaking their heads along with me right now.

Another thing is gypsys. We are all familiar with horrible stereotype which never fails to reinforce itself. However, unlike their theiving mongrel kin of Central and Eastern Europe, the gypsys here are honest, hardworking people and are quite pleasant. Cankurtaran, where I live, is primarily a gypsy neighborhood, and the people are courteous and honest - they won't fleece me for the dish soap. And they are less interested in me than the Turks; on the tram, Turks stare, but when I go home, nobody is interested. Indeed, to a Turk it's not the gypsys you need to worry about picking your pocket on the tram, but the Kurds, the scourge of modern Turkey. A few days ago, my friend Aladdin lost his keys, and he swore menacingly that it was the Kurdish people who stole his keys from his pocket simply for the 6 lira deposit on the Akbil (a metal bead on a key ring that functions like a MetroCard) as he rode the tram home.

Money is funny here. With an average inflation rate of 38% per year in the latter part of last century, $1 was roughly equal to 1.35 million lira in 2004. This means that Turks, over time, became used to large numbers in business transactions, and even today an older shopkeeper will tell you your total in millions of lira. I bought a kilo of bulgar wheat and some hot pepper from my neıghborhood sundry shop the other day:

''Ne kadar?'' (How Much?)
''İki milyon lira.'' (Two million lira.)
''Ne?! İki lira.'' (What!? Two!)
''Ah, evet, evet, iki....'' (Uh, yes, yes, two...)

In 2005 the government decided all those zeros were quite simply a headache and decided to drop 6 zeroes from the currency in an attempt to stabilize and simplify (and save on printing costs, I'm sure) the currency. Hence the Yeni Türk Lirası (New Turkish Lira), was born. However, in 2009 the government decided to once again print new money, dropping the yeni and simply calling it a ''Turkish lira''. Therefore, the ''new'' lira is now the old lira, and is no longer valid currency. Shopper beware: sometimes a shopkeeper will pass these on as change to an unsuspecting schmuck, and when you go to use it later, you will receive a snort of ridicule and your money will be refused.

What else? When your Turkish friend wants to get your attention he shushes you sssssshhhhhh!!!!! It's like ''Hey friend, let me tell you something!'' I think this developed as the result of the Turks' tendency to talk all at once. When you poke your head into a büfe or döner shop, the big beefy man briskly sharpening his knife inside sees you and shouts ''Buyrun!!'' in loud booming voice. But he's not angry, just coarsely hospitible: it means ''Please!'', ''Come in!'', ''After you!''
Of course, it is the peculiarities such as these that make every place unique. And, naturally, lots of fun.
And yes, if you want to come inside, you have to take your shoes off.